There’s Freedom in Saying No, Setting Boundaries, Saying Goodbye

As real estate agents and brokers, it seems as though many of us are programmed to always say the magic word “yes.”

Yes, we can squeeze 21 showings in one day despite them being on completely opposite sides of town. Yes, I can talk at 11 p.m. Yes, I will “make” the sellers fix every item on the home inspection list.

Scarcity is typically the main driving force behind the obsessive “yes” in our business, but I think for many of us, it can contribute to a downfall in our personal life and burnout in our professional life.

We’re scared that if we don’t answer every call as it is coming in, the lead on the other end may hang up and call someone else. And while that may be true, what do we, in turn, sacrifice to catch every potential lead that comes our way?

If every lead turned into a sale, then perhaps most, or at least some, of the yeses are warranted. But if they don’t always convert, and let’s be honest, we know they don’t, then we owe it to ourselves to be more mindful of what type of interruptions we are allowing into our lives.

I learned the power of “no” pretty early on in my real estate career, though it took me many years to truly master it.

I wasn’t even old enough to drink a beer when I got my real estate license, and I felt like I had to work five times harder to be taken seriously than everyone else. I was a young female with no experience, and I noticed that I would tolerate much more than I normally would from clients because I was scared of losing the lead or the sale.

I would allow clients to speak to me disrespectfully, call or text me during non-business hours and quite honestly, at times, let them walk all over me. Until I decided I had enough.

If I didn’t set boundaries, I couldn’t expect my clients to respect them. So, I decided to set firm boundaries and communicate them upfront.

Here is what my boundaries sound like:

Set business hours, and stick to them 

I will be available from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m., Monday through Saturday, unless it’s an emergency. An emergency in real estate is a multiple-offer scenario, tight expiration dates or anything that requires urgent attention. A real estate emergency is not transferring utilities.

I found that by communicating these boundaries upfront, the interruptions are much less frequent (if at all), and on the rare occasions they do happen, I’ve found clients to be much more appreciative of my time.

Communicate upfront about realistic expectations of the other party

I might say something like:

“I do not work for the other party in the transaction (buyer or seller, depending on which side you’re on), and therefore, I can’t force anyone to do anything they aren’t willing to do. My job is to represent my client and do everything in my power to collaborate with the agent to achieve our mutual goal of closing.

“However, I can’t force the other side to perform, agree to repairs or come to your price any more than I am able to force you. I can take all the necessary and available steps, and I will, but my hands become tied at a certain point. This is a collaborative business, and I refuse to be attacked if the other party isn’t behaving like you want them to.” 

This is an important part of my boundaries because, in the past, I have been blamed for the other side’s X, Y or Z. I remind my clients that the buyer or seller on the other side is a human, just like we are, and they have a right to make their own decisions. It’s then our job to decide if those decisions are something that we feel comfortable with.

Read the contract

Read the contract, read the contract, read the contract. I cannot tell you how many times I have had clients upset over something that was in the contract that they signed. If you are signing anything, read it carefully.

I always make myself available to review the contract together or to answer any questions or concerns, however, it’s the client’s responsibility to read the contract and ensure they understand it before signing it.

Included in every DocuSign envelope is a note from me that says, “Did you have a chance to read this, and do you feel comfortable moving forward with the terms outlined in this?” Trust me, this will save you many headaches and frustrating conversations down the road.